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" Indeed" I responded and dropped the topic. That's how clueless I am. On another occasion, she recalled a bible study discussion about inappropriate immoral conduct and concluded that after 'some of the things I've done in my life,I'm hardly in a position to judge.'Did I accept the invitation to ask? No madam, I did not. Sensing that her arrows of innuendo were not hitting the mark, she opted for a blunter instrument. One day at her house, out of the blue she confessed. " I have this thing about watching porn on the internet. I can't help it. I like it. I know I shouldn't but it's sinful.I have to stop."That club should have found its mark, but sadly it didn't. I suppose I am really circumspect about flings. Even though we'd achieved a comfortable rapport I was uneasy. I wasn't (nor am I) that confident about my sexual prowess, besides I take sex seriously and need to have a real connection with my partner. There's another side to me. A side I haven't seen often and one that would. ”“I guess the fundamental problem is that just trying to live my life the way I wish could set her off.”“Yes, it could. But you only have two choices here — get on with your life or commit to Angie with the expectation of never having any physical intimacy. She might not even be able to sleep in the same bed as you.”“I can’t make that commitment,” I said.“I wouldn’t expect you to.”“So I guess then I could ask Kristin out.”Doctor Hart shook his head, “You could. But what’s your point in doing that? To try to pretend there’s a relationship in a one-night stand? To assuage your guilt for, in effect, tricking her into surrendering her virginity?”“That is NOT how it happened!” I protested.Doctor Hart smiled, “Then why do you feel so damned guilty about it?”I smiled ruefully, “Because I DID, in effect, trick her into surrendering her virginity.”“And in the process discovered that you can’t handle casual sex.”“Sandy?”“There’s a world of difference between having a long-term sexual.
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